A genuinely gross and unusually emotive news piece from The Independent, wierdly reminiscent of the Abu Graib prisoner abuse scandal, just goes to show that the hidden video is mightier than corporate PR. A meat eater from way back, I wouldn't usually get too het up about this kind of thing, but check it out: www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com.
 
Creepiest of all, though, it seems that workplace boredom is set to be the new Nuremburg defence. There but for the crates of cod go I...

More importantly, does anyone have a NZ angle on this? Cos damn, KFC smells so good... Surely we wouldn't abuse chickens in NZ? [IRONIC LAUGHTER]

Also, I should mention that The Rye Grass Staggers were exceptional again at Bodega on Saturday. "Stop Draggin My Heart Around" was a highlight once more. Sean managed positively supernatural impressions of both Johnny C and Bruce S. My only regret was that I had to skip out to a party before their last set, which, I am told, featured both "Wanted Dead or Alive" and a hollerin' competition (won my a woman from Invercarrrgill).  And this, on the same night NZ beat Australia at rugby.

I can't claim credit for the pun, but I fully plan this weekend to make this dream a reality. A homage to Australia's finest sons, the Accadaiquiri will feature some or all of the following ingredients:

White Rum
Triple Sec
Castlemaine XXXX
Lime juice
Caster Sugar
Crushed Ice

I envisage a slushy-textured champagne-coloured drink, all frozen daiquiri but for the substitution of a continuous-processed chemical beer tang for the aroma of fresh fruit.
 
I will report back at the first possible opportunity.

I feel it is my duty to say this...

The African Queen is a shit film. Just cos it's got Bogart in it and it's from the early 50s, don't mean it's got class.

It must have some kind of 'classic' status, though, or else I wouldn't have gotten fooled into renting it. I was expecting something along the lines of Casablanca or an Orson Welles film of the era. Instead, where those films are dialogue-based, smart and shot in beautiful b&w, this film is kind of a proto action film - bad special effects, stilted cheesey script and a far-fetched, pointless plot.

I figure it gets more respect than it deserves because (a) at the time, filming a movie on location in Africa must've been pretty out-there (it's got hippos in it), and (b) Katherine Hepburn was no doubt a 'ballsy' leading lady for the time. But make no mistake - this film does not measure up. In fact, it was closer to being so-bad-it-was-good, than being good-good. See The Big Sleep instead. Now, that's good-good. Actually, it's great-great.

What's the lesson here? Howard Hawks good, John Huston bad? 1940s good, 1950s bad? Answers on the back of a postcard please...

Round Trip Mars

Southern Lights is the third (count em!) album by Auckland producer/singer/songwriter SJD. His last, Lost Soul Music, with its distinctive Ninjatunes meets softrock sound, was quite the critics favourite on its release in 2001. This new album offers more of the same, with the added CD-selling punch of a host of Auckland-based guest popstars - Heather Brunette, Don McGlashan, Anika Moa et al.

References to this album as electronica are a little misleading - really, it's rock music made on a computer. And I don't mean techy, kitsch 'electropunk' either - SJD's inspirations seem to be planted firmly in the hippy psychedelic heyday of the 1960s. Think Stephen Stills with ProTools, right down to the cod-Californian accent, chamber pop orchestration and folky lyrics. Probably the best reference point for this album is the neo-psych 'experimental-music-for-people-who-wouldn't-normally-listen-to-that-kind-of-thing' of The Flaming Lips or Radiohead. Sure, there's lots of squelchy synths and the occasional glitchy digital drumsound, but in it's attention to songwriting, and it's overall aesthetic, this album is all rock.

Once you've got your head round that, it's a great listen. S.J.D. draws on influences far and wide, from the krautrock-lite of the opener, 'Rising, Falling, Rising', to the understated Dimmer-funk of 'The Place is Surrounded', to the Bono-esque falsetto of current single 'Superman, You're Crying'. Southern Lights is a subtle, immaculately crafted set of songs that bear repeated listening. Buy it now and I promise you won't have gotten sick of it by the time summer rolls round.

(Review for The package)

Schneider TM - "Reality Check"
Calexico - "Sunken Waltz"

(Both free MP3 downloads from the City Slang site)

Human relationships (and not only the sexual ones) proceed like the sound of a musical instrument, with attack, decay sustain and release parameters - same principle as the ADSR controls on a synth:



If you meet someone at a party and do the bizzo later that night, that's a rapid attack. If you sleep with your friend that you've known for five years and always had a crush on, that's slow attack. Decay is the measure of how quick the 'honey moon period' ends, sometimes it's straight after the peak of the attack phase, but if you're lucky it'll last a little longer.

Once things have plateaued out, you're in the sustain phase. This can last indefinitely (pipe organ) or be over pretty quick (harpsichord). The amplitude/intensity of the sustain is also key - is your relationship loud or quiet? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Likewise, the release phase can happen real quick - like if you get busted having an affair (polyphony), or slowly, if one of you moves away and you email each other for a few months but it just kinda dies out in the end.

A one night stand is like the sound of a snare drum, lifelong monogamy is bagpipes.

The names Brett and Brent are too similar and should be rationalised. I am forever getting confused and there really is no need for both. Also, Greg and Glen. Probably, in Switzerland they have already legislated against this kind of thing.

Big up Pita Sharples and Errol Morris.

(Three songs that haven't worn off yet)

1. A Number of Names - Shari Vari
2. Trinity Roots - Way I Feel
3. Carl Perkins - Pointed Toe Shoes [N.B. Before Lee Perry discovered echo, Sam Phillips invented it.]