Today's Friday Farce takes on a little bit of a twist from the usual FF formula of "some gimp makes terrible version of great song by beloved artist"; it's more along the lines of "beloved artist makes unnecessary version of song by some wretched gimp". Now normally I wouldn't bother, y'dig, but this one is special.

I was frankly horrified when I learnt that Johnny Cash had covered perennial angst-bucket and dork Trent Reznor's Nine Inch Nails song Hurt on his American IV album. I can't speak highly enough of Johnny Cash, and my love for him and his music; conversely no insult, no offense is too harsh for Reznor and his music. He's the godfather of emo, the great high-priest of screamo, the progenitor of most in popular music that I can think of that is horrid and loathsome. And Johnny had to go and cover his song.

Johnny Cash - Hurt (3.34 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download)

This isn't just random spewing of bile, either. I'm affeared that this will give credibility to Reznor, that people (sheep?) will feel able to feel like "if it's good enough for J.C., it's good enough for me". Nooooooooo people, don't do it! Don't give creedence to the self-pitying fucktard. Don't validate him.

My last, best hope for humankind is that they -- like me -- and even the NIN fans -- will listen to this tune with new ears and realise -- like me -- what a goddawful piece-o'-shit songwriter and lyricist Reznor is.

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real

*puke*

the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

*gag*

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

*retch*

you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

*yawn*

I wear my crown of thorns
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

*looks at watch*

beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
I am still right here

*slap* *punch* etc.

And on and on and on and on it goes. Fuck man, what are you -- a fourteen year-old girl? (Apologies to fourteen year-old girls everywhere.)

(lyrics reproduced without permission)

Watch music vid for Johnny Cash's version:




Watch footage Reznor performing same in concert:

Labels: Friday farce, misanthropy, music, youtube