I've been thoroughly rebuked for posting a picture of the "back side" of the Xmas tree which doesn't show the good bits. So:



Oh, the majesty.

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I'm having a not-very-into-Christmas kinda day. And then I was picking through some photos and found this picture of the "Nativity" tableau (is that a tableau? a diorama? a "scene"?) outside the church near the "top" of Queen Street -- where it intersects with Karangahape Road -- from about this time last year.



If I were to remove my "hat of cultural sensitivity", I would be moved to make one or more observations:
1. Those are some very Palestinian-lookin' wise men.
2. That is a particularly Jewish-lookin' Mary (in the modern sense, i.e. grew up in Queens or Yonkers and moved to Israel in their thirties, after 'reconnecting' with their faith).
3. What the hell are those there wise men presenting to Mary and The Child? An IED? A mortar round? A small tactical nuclear weapon?

This congregation is not afraid to wear their political leanings on their sleeve, as it were, are they. Can we take it for read that they're not supporters of the Zionist movement? I'm dying to find out if they've got some equally fantastic display outside their church this Christmas.

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As usual, prizes will be awarded if you can tell me what/who this track is...

And if you are a maker of musical mysteries and would like to contribute to this feature, contact me offline to organise stuff.

Labels: bling, christian-baiting, music, Mystery Monday

Oh Lordi ... Christians take on fiends of rock

A crusade is looming as church groups prepare to take on heavy metal heavyweights poised to play in Wellington over Easter.

(from Stuff.co.nz):

Wellington pentecostal church Lifepoint says the lineup of bands - including former bat-biter Ozzy Osbourne, Kiss and Finnish Eurovision-winning panto-metal kings Lordi (pictured) - are "not appropriate" and will have "negative influences" on the city during the two-day Rock2Wgtn festival on March 22 and 23.

They plan to lobby other church groups and will look at taking their concerns to Wellington City Council.

"It's not appropriate from our angle of things," said pastor Karen Crawshaw.

"I don't think we can force our views on others but at the same time we think it's a very negative influence on our city.

"It'll put a damper on the things the church traditionally focuses on at the Easter season."

I dunno, what do you say? How can so may people be sooooo fucking stupid.

Personally I am hoping that Lordi and Ozzy collaborate to put on a right-old pantomime which culminates in the enacted ritual slaughter of a life-size Jesus dummy on a cross -- preferably upside-down -- surrounded by a huge number of partially dressed heavy metal sluts writhing around having a good ol' orgy in a pit of fake blood.

O for awesome.

Labels: christian-baiting, misanthropy

So, Lorna Catherine Harrow-Hodginson participated in a multiple-participant sexual act on a balcony in downtown Christchurch, one Friday afternoon.

In full view of the public.

However, it all may not be as simple as all that. First of all, a bunch of drugs were involved. I mean, no shit (read the story). You'll also notice that the judge who bailed her forbade her to return within 100m of Latimer Square, and said:

"If you work, I would prefer you work in the more open area of Manchester Street, rather than (Latimer) square."

Latimer Square, which has a reputation as being used by young people hooking for trade. Work as in hooking. Manchester Street as in the "red-light" district.

So what we're really talking about is a party with drugs and hookers in the middle of the afternoon, which spilled out of the hotel room/apartment it was being held in and onto the balcony.

Umm:
1. Isn't 17 a bit young for a girl to be working as a prostitute? I'd have to check the law, but surely the legal age is at least 18?
2. Either way, I trust that young Lorna is in no way being exploited, abused, coerced or otherwise forced against her will into any "group sex on balconies in the middle of the afternoon".
3. Who the hell does Christchurch think it is? Las Vegas?

POSTSCRIPT
Lorna was picked up in Latimer Square again on Friday, and held in custody over the weekend (Poor wee mite! All that noise! All that piss and vomit!). This time the judge has given her a 7pm to 7am curfew. Not that that's gonna get in the way of any more group sex on balconies in the middle of the afternoon.

Which is just as well, and for that one really has to say, Praise the Lord. If there's one thing I think we can all agree on, it's that there should be more group sex on balconies in the middle of the afternoon. In fact, in answer to the ubiquitous question "What Does Wellington Need", I really only have one answer: "group sex on balconies in the middle of the afternoon".

Awesome.

I wonder if council community-project funding could be arranged.

Labels: christian-baiting, miscellany

Diminutive loudmouth Kathy Griffin annoys the piss out of me, but I gotta give her serious props for her acceptance speech at the recent Emmy award show:

A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus.

Griffin was collecting her Emmy for best reality program, for her Bravo channel show My Life on the D-List.

The outburst drew laughs from the crowd, and predictable outrage from stupid Americans, and other dumbfucks.

Eddy Vinsin - Juice Head Blues (2.46 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using the handy little embedded player below)

Labels: christian-baiting, misanthropy, music

Street poet Gil Scott-Heron (wikipedia) gets a lot of props for being a right-on brother and so on; his 'song' The Revolution will not be Televised is played and covered and referenced and quoted often, and rightly so -- it's a cute li'l slice of invective -- although to be honest it has become a little too much like a Ché Guevera tshirt/poster to carry too much cultural significance any more.

The album that track is taken from -- Small Talk at 125th and Lennox (allmusic) -- was recorded live in a New York nightclub with only bongos and conga as backing, and it's regarded as "a volcanic upheaval of intellectualism and social critique". However it is blighted by the inclusion of a stupid, confused, and rancidly homophobic track called The Subject Was Faggots.

Gil Scott-Heron - The Subject Was Faggots (1.91 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

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A guy called Chris Crocker got pretty (in)famous pretty damn quick for his Youtube video slating the critics of Britney Spears after her MTV VMAs debacle.



God, check out some of those comments. 40 years older, nothing's changed. (It was even worse in the comments on the follow-up video, which was pulled down by Chris after only a few hours.) And even worse was that when Fox news covered it, a good deal of time was spent making derogatory remarks about Chris' sexual androgeny.

My comment to America, the so-called "Land of the Free, Home of the Brave": shut the fuck up about freedom, until gay people are safe from your hateful "freedom-loving" "christian" "patriots".

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Check out and even download the Gil Scott-Heron album here.

Labels: christian-baiting, freedom-hating, Friday farce, misanthropy, music, youtube

More about the Judas Priest suicide thing..... on the left is how Ray Balknap and James Vance looked some time prior to this:

Two days before Christmas in 1985, 20-year-old James and 18-year-old Raymond Belknap spent hours listening to Stained Class in Raymond's room. They drank a twelve-pack of beer and smoked marijuana. They made a suicide pact, then went on a rampage, tearing at the room's walls and smashing belongings.

"The only things not broken in the room were the turntable and the albums," says Phyllis Vance.

Near dusk, the two went to the playground of a local church with Raymond's sawed-off 12-guage shotgun. Raymond Belknap, seated on a merry-go-round, placed the end of the shotgun under his chin and pulled the trigger, killing himself. A few minutes later, James pointed the same gun at his chin and fired. Somehow, the blast missed his brain and he lived.

On the right is what James looked like after surgeons had tried (and failed) to reconstruct his face.

Apparently he would ride his bicycle around town shocking people with his grotesque disfigurement. He later died in somewhat mysterious circumstances before the trial reached court.

Somewhere in the middle of this colossal page (scroll down to JULY 1990: Metal on trial), there's a comprehensive and entertaining account of the trial.

Some choice quotes:

It was originally about the track Heroes End - they tried to say the band were saying you could only be a hero if you killed yourself, till I had to give them the correct lyrics which is "why do heroes have to die?"... Then they changed their plea to subliminal messages on the album.

We had to sit in this courtroom in Reno for six weeks. It was like Disneyworld. We had no idea what a subliminal message was - it was just a combination of some weird guitar sounds, and the way I exhaled between lyrics. I had to sing Better by You, Better Than Me in court, a cappella. I think that was when the judge thought, "What am I doing here? No band goes out of its way to kill its fans".

It's a sad that two people died -- even though they wanted it that way -- but it's quite offensive that these retarded Americans tried to hoist blame on to someone else. Americans and Christians should fuck off and leave heavy metal alone. Bah.

Labels: christian-baiting, freedom-hating, misanthropy

Suicide isn't particularly funny, but CelebNewsWire made me chuckle when they suggested that Owen Wilson had been listening to Judas Priest's Stained Class album backwards, before attempting to kill himself.

Of course, they immediately apologised for making such an abhorrently crass joke, and rightly so. Heh.

The writer was of course referring to the infamous lawsuit brought against the band in 1990, in which you may remember it was alleged that there was "back-masking" in the song Better By You Better Than Me -- and that the effect of which was to subconsciously urge two young American men to kill themselves. Naturally such a stupid and hysterical suit was tossed out, and aside from stupid and hysterical Christians, these days the threat of Satan-inspired "back-masking" is consigned to the same embarrassing period of stupidity and hysteria as Satanic mass-child-abuse allegations.

Click little viddy at left to (not) see (but hear) Judas Priest (not) performing Better By You Better Than Me. Singer Rob Halford in court, during the trial, explaining his vocal performance:


Original composers Spooky Tooth performing the song here.

UPDATE More about the case here.

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In tribute to not only Owen Wilson, whom I trust feels better soon -- but anyone feeling a bit under the weather -- I'd like to play the first three songs off The Polyphonic Spree's (kinda-icky Flash-based official site; wikipedia) first album The Beginning Stages Of..., as a sorta little medley of hope and cheer.

The Polyphonic Spree - Intro.. Have a Day.. Celebratory (3.13 MB mp3: right-click and Save As to download; play using player below)

The Polyphonic Spree - It's the Sun (3.13 MB mp3)

The Polyphonic Spree - Days Like This Keep Me Warm (2.79 MB mp3)

Keep warm, chicken.

Labels: christian-baiting, misanthropy, music